Where do I turn, when everyone has left and I’m stuck at the edge of my bed burying my head in my hands? I could lie to myself and say that you’ll come back, and I could wait here for hours convincing myself that I’m right, or I can get up and finally move on. But when gravity isn't the only thing holding you down, and you feel her words push you to the ground all you can do is crawl to your own grief. I promised myself I wouldn't let myself get this low, and I told myself I wouldn't let this tie me down. If I was being honest I’d tell you that I’m not okay, that I’m getting to the point where I want to give up on trying to breathe. I've never felt more alone, but I guess this is all I’ll ever know. I wanna sleep in my grave, because I find more comfort in sleeping with death than lying in my bed awake without you there. These words may be useless to you, and they wont bring you back, and I might be wasting my time but all I can do is try. All I want is to have you back but God knows that won’t happen.
Track Name: Leaves
I can’t seem to dream because I can’t seem to sleep. These restless nights have been making me feel like I’m just a dead beat. The bags under my eyes weigh me down.
I’m alone but I guess that’s just how it goes. Now I’m breaking all my bones hoping the scars won’t show. I’ll dig a grave for the words I couldn't say and if there’s room I’ll find a spot where I can lay, because no other place has felt more like home.
The home I thought was my home was just temporary like the love I once had. And I know after all these years it shouldn't be that bad. And I know I shouldn't be this sad, but I've been so hung up on you that I hung up my hope and now I’m putting this rope around my neck hoping I can find that hope again.
If there’s one thing I learned over the years it’s that you can’t trust someone who hides behind a masquerade. So I stopped trusting myself and I broke all the mirrors in this home so I wouldn't have to look at the face of a liar.
I’m still searching for the hope I lost and the rope around my neck is starting to thin out. Maybe when it breaks I’ll start to break and then I can finally feel what it’s really like to be broken.
I’m a liar, and now my scars show, and there’s no room for me in the grave I dug. The home I thought was home wasn't mine. So I’ll hang like an apple from a tree and fall when the leaves aren't green. I guess this is just how it has to be, I’ll die like the leaves in the winter hoping next season won’t make me so bitter.