This time last year I was knee deep in regret, living with the weight of knowing I wasn’t there for you. My body would then collapse without even putting up a fight and I’ve never felt more weak then I did when I fell to my knees that night.
Left with the thoughts in my head wishing I got to say goodbye. My minds telling me stories of how helpless I am. So I’ll keep telling myself lies of how I’m okay and I’m getting through this. When really I would give anything just to bring you back home.
And I hope you sleep well because I can’t seem to sleep anymore. And oh my god, it kills me inside to know you won’t wake up. If I had one wish I would use it to tell you I’m sorry for not being there.
The thoughts in my head tell me stories of how hopeless I still am, how I let you down and all I can say is I’m sorry. This sorrow ties a noose filled with regret and places it around my neck so I’ll hang my head in hopes I can be forgiven.
I know you’re okay but we need you here, this family feels so empty without you. Why can’t you wake up and see the people that miss you? Your body might need rest but we won’t rest till your heart pumps blood again.
I can’t say we’ll be fine but we can try and it’ll be a tough fight but maybe someday we’ll make it through this.
But right now it’s hard without you here, and we need you to wake up so please just wake up.
Please just wake up